This one is really weird.

Some woman wanted to marry me and I decided to play a little prank. I got a ring and cut it up and put bits of it all over the house. For some reason this was supposed to be a really upsetting thing to do.

I was actually planning on marrying the girl - I thought she wouldn't notice the cruel trick I played on her, but she did notice and called the wedding off.

Then I did it again.

I don't understand why it was cruel or funny. Also I cut the rings up with scissors and got a lot of pieces. I was at home in York Avenue in this dream.

I only remember the end of the dream.

I am visiting home and when I get there Mum has told me that Bob threw up the previous night.

When I arrive at home someone is talking to Bob and saying "Were you sick again this morning?" and he said "yes". I asked him about it and he said he drunk too much last night and puked. Then he said this morning he woke up and was starving and he was going to "enjoy being hungry". Then he had a "phat fry-up" and was thinking how much he was enjoying it when he suddenly felt sick and made a dash for the toilet and threw it back up.

I said "I bet that was horrible throwing up all of that fried food" and he said it was.

I don't remember exactly what else I said but I think I was telling him how to avoid puking.

I had a dream about skiing: it was a competition between a pro skier and an amateur. The amateur guy had weird training where he had to use dance to train and move on the slope. The competition was judged on jumps rather than speed.

The end of the dream didn't make a lot of sense. It started talking about how women skiers would be judged on looks as well, for example how the looked in water. Then I was taken to a swimming pool in the garden of a luxury London apartment.

Next I was inside and talking to the owner who was showing me around. I was in a room with large patio doors looking out on the pool and he explained how the whole apartment was double glazed apart from the patio doors.

Then he showed me his computer and explained how he filmed stuff on it. It had an absolutely huge flat screen monitor and he was saying how he wished there was a microphone built into the monitor that would pick up the sound of the wind to make his films more realistic.

I asked him how much wind he got in his apartment.

I only remember 2 parts.

Firstly my next door neighbour Cliff was building some kind of motor vehicle.

Secondly, me and Yu Lee were in a supermarket doing our weekly shop and buying all sorts of junk. Immediately before waking we asked someone where either ice cream or yoghurt was. Yu Lee wanted to go but I wanted to get more food.

1. Christmas time: Jack and Brad are spending Christmas together. Jack and Jack's dad aren't drinking so that Jack's dad can drop him home at midnight.

2. Something about spaceships and time travel which went into a false awakening where I wrote the dream down.

I had a dream that I was in ‘Toys ‘R’ Us’, buying lego. After I went home, there was a red lion in my house, eating my family.

An unusual dream tonight. Jack was round my house, when his mum turned up to pick him up. Jack went up stairs to get his shoes and Jack’s mum talked to me. She asked me how I was doing so I said “Fine thanks. How are you?” The answer I got was quite alarming. She said “I’ve been much better recently, since I’ve been using my dildo.” Strange isn’t it?

Before I start, I’ll talk about something which has appeared in a lot of my dreams in the past. For some reason I’ve been riding my bike in the trading estate, and rode into an (imaginary) area of brown mud round the back of one of the buildings. When I’m riding over the mud, my bike gets sucked into the ground. I’ve had this in my dreams for a very long time, and I don’t know why. Anyway, now I’ll tell you about the dream I had last night.

It started in school. It was time for PE and I’d lost my kit, and didn’t fancy having to use the spare kit. What I did was look around the bottom of the green staircase for someone else’s kit to take. I found one that fitted, in a carrier bag and took it to the gym. After PE it was home time. Jack and Peter asked me if I wanted a bike race through the trading estate and I agreed. I went home and got my bike, and the race started. We were going through the trading estate at full pelt when a car pulled out in front of me. Because of this I was miles behind everyone else. In an attempt to catch up, I looked for a shortcut, and eventually I found one. It meant cutting through a muddy peace of land outside one of the buildings, (the muddy place that I’ve often visited in my dreams). As I rode across the mud, my bike suddenly got sucked in, so I jumped off. My bike was completely submerged under the surface of the mud. I pulled out a knife, and cut a slit in the mud, but it closed again, sort of like a huge mouth. I cut it again, and shoved a bottle in to hold it open. It was open for a few seconds, when suddenly the bottle flew up in the air. The reason it flew up was a huge eye was in the ground, pushing against it. I look at the eye. It was orange-brown and covered in brown veins. I thought that the eye had eaten my bike so I tried to kill it. At first I cut it gently, but it healed itself, so I lifted my knife above my head and started stabbing down at it. Yellow chunks of gore flew out of the eye. Then I woke up. I never did find my bike…

(note : not the first time I’ve ever dreamt about eyes. Could it mean something?)

One day, I’m on holiday (in the UK I think, maybe Yarmouth), when I meet some kids down an ally. They say that they’ll teach me how to fight, so I start training. When I get back to school, I decide that I want to practise my punches, so I ask Jason (Blair) if he wants to play a game. He agrees. I punch him repeatedly in the face and head. Half way through, the ‘game’, J starts complaining. By this time, blood is pouring out of his face, and his nose is broken. I tell him “don’t worry J, it’s only a game!”. He says “Okay” and we continue until I wake up.

(note : Perhaps I really should be seeing the psychologist! I don’t know what made me dream about that, I don’t have anything against Jason).

Me, Jack, Bradley, Michael and Humza are together in the class room, picking on Amardeep, saying that she’s got hairy breasts. She gets very upset and eventually shows us her chest and it’s very hairy!

(note : this is quite realistic isn’t it?)