I dreamt me and Yu Lee were living at my childhood home in Slough, and Mum and Richard were visiting us. For some reason we were all in the shed at the bottom of the garden.

It was time to go back to the house so we made our way up the garden path, but Richard said he wanted to stay behind and to go on without him, presumably so that he could have a cigarette.

A little while later Yu Lee and Mum were in the living room talking and I was in the kitchen. I was thinking that Richard had been a while and I looked out of the window, into the shed window. I suddenly realised I could see Richard's legs dangling in front of the window and that had hung himself!

I shouted to the others to come quickly and ran up the garden to the shed. I went inside I grabbed hold of his legs to try to relieve the tension on his neck. That was the last thing I remember before waking up.

In my dream Nan and Pops were both still alive.

One day I received a weird email from my Pops. I don't remember the exact content of the email but it sounded very much like he was trying to say something without directly saying it, and in the end the email was mostly meaningless. He signed off with the following:

This is my attempt at a throwaway.

Pops

I looked at the email address the the message was from and it was an address with lots of random letters in it so I thought the last sentence made sense.

A little while later me and Yu Lee decided to go out for a walk and we thought we might as well walk to their house and see if they were about. When we got to their road they were walking with a (surprisingly large) group of other old people. We all went back to their house and they were having some kind of gathering.

I chatted to my Pops and he told me that a lot of his friends were having problems with their internet. He said the internet companies were targeting old people and charging them extra for expensive services while at the same time giving them a service that was a lot cheaper to run and was a lot slower. He didn't want his internet speed to be throttled back so he sent me the email in code because he thought they might intercept his email and realise that he was an old man and try to scam him.

This was a very vivid dream.

Pizza Express

The first thing I remember is arriving at Pizza Express, although it was a different Pizza Express to the one we normally go to. Link wasn't with us, and I remember thinking that he was sleeping at home, but it was ok because we'd brought the baby monitor with us!

We ordered our food, and mine arrived, but Yu Lee received the wrong pizza. She sent hers back and I ate mine.

After quite a long wait Yu Lee still hadn't received her food, so she got the waitress' attention and asked where her food was. The waitress apologised and disappeared back into the kitchen.

A few minutes later a lesbian looking woman with short hair arrived at our table with a plate of food. She was not dressed like the other waitresses, and explained that she works in the kitchen, and that the waitress hadn't written her order down on the right slip of paper and so it had been forgotten. She was very apologetic and spoke a lot less eloquently than the serving staff, and had a very working class way about her speech.

The lady put the plate down in front of Yu Lee, and it had a large flatbread pocket filled with pizza topping on it. Yu Lee started to explain that this also wasn't quite right, and the lady's face expression changed as if to say "what's wrong now?" Yu Lee explained that she'd ordered the ham and cheese pizza (it had a funny Italian name that I don't remember), but this is not a pizza. The lady told her that the waitress didn't specify whether it was the normal pizza or the wrap so she just guessed. The lady went back into the kitchen with the plate of food.

After the lady left again I studied the menu and there was no flatbread option for the cheese and ham pizza.

After waiting again for a while, another plate of food turned up. This time it had 2 large slices of pizza on it, but had very little toppings and no cheese. Yu Lee was getting very fed up now and when she complained that this still wasn't right the waiting staff were expecting it and took it straight away again without any kind of argument.

Eventually another lady came out who turned out to be some kind of manager. She apologised and gave Yu Lee a cheque for the price of her half of the order. It was becoming clear to us that they were not capable of producing the correct dish for Yu Lee and so we accepted the refund and left.

The Café

We were outside now and it was dark. I had taken my shoes off in the restaurant, and was now taking shoes out of my bag and struggling to put them on in the dark, while we talked about where we could go to get Yu Lee some food. I was very aware that Link had been at home on his own for a while, so I suggested that we needed to go somewhere that was going to be quick. Yu Lee said she knew a cafe so we decided to head over there.

By this point I'd managed to get my left shoe on and was fumbling in my bag, trying to find the other one. I pull out another left shoe, and continued my search, and finally found another shoe and took a long time clumsily putting it on. A short while later, under a streetlight, I realised I had two left shoes on, but we decided to head to the cafe and try to rectify it there where there was more light.

When we got to the cafe, it was a weird place which only had outdoor seating. It was dark outside, but the cafe was adequately lit so we decided to stay.

Yu Lee went up to the man at the till and asked about ordering food and he assured her that the kitchen was still open. He also said we should talk to his wife about the menu, and then he called her over.

We were sitting at a table now, and the man's wife was talking to us. The menu was really complicated, and as she was explaining it to us she kept getting sidetracked. She asked where we were from and I said that originally my wife was from London, and she said "right, so after living in London you moved to Australia or Canada?"

The conversation was getting weird and the lady had a very uncomfortable, rambly way of talking where she would excitedly go of on tangents and never get to the point she'd set out to make.

Yu Lee said something about how her mum was from Malaysia and the woman got really excited and started going on about how in Malaysia they were really good with needles. She then pulled what looked like a small knitting needle out of her pocket and stuck it through her wrist and started to wiggle it about!

Yu Lee was speechless, and we ended the conversation as quickly as possible and left without ever ordering any food.

The Pub

After we left the cafe we decided to go to a nearby pub. Neither of us had every been there before, and when we got inside it was very noisy and smokey, and lots of people were smoking. The place stunk of old spilled beer.

We made our way to the bar and Yu Lee told me she didn't know what to order. I told her to just ask if they are still doing food and then order a burger. When the lady at the bar asked what we wanted Yu Lee said "Can I have a burger a chips please?"

I added that we wanted take-away and the lady took our money and moved on to the next customer. A person standing on our side of the bar handed Yu Lee a brown paper bag and said it was to put her food in.

We waiting for a little while. Although it was loud and smelly, the people the pub were entertaining to watch and it was actually quite fun. At one point someone started talking to us and asking about Link, and I got confused about whether he was 24 years or 24 months old (in real life he is 15 months old),

After a short wait, Yu Lee's food came out. She opened up the burger and there was no cheese inside, so she got the barmaid's attention and asked her more cheese. Yu Lee was obviously getting fed up by this point and she was quite rude about it. I remember thinking that she should be careful otherwise they may spit in her food!

The burger had initially come out of the kitchen quite quickly, but now that we were waiting for the cheese it was taking a long time. Whilst we were waiting my alarm went off and the dream ended without Yu Lee ever getting anything to eat!

I dreamt the me and Yu Lee took Link to Spain to see Dad and Sue.

I don't remember a lot of the dream, but I do remember that we ended up going places and seemed to spend a lot of time making our way from place to place. The part of Spain where my dad lived was also very different to real life, seeming more like an island than mainland Spain with lots of coastal areas.

The main part that I remember is the end of the dream. We were at Dad's house and we decided to take Link to some caves. Dad didn't really want to go, but he took us anyway and we all got in the car and drove to the other side of town where the caves were. When we got there we couldn't park very close to the caves and had to walk quite a way to reach them, but when we finally reached the cave entrance we realised that it was closed and wouldn't open for another hour and a half.

We briefly discussed whether we would wait for them to open or leave, and Yu Lee was insistent that her and Link would wait for the caves to open again and my Dad and Sue just went along with it. I said "well I'm not waiting around for an hour an half" and walked off on my own.

I headed away from the caves, through a touristy area with shops and restaurants and emerged back in the main part of town. I stopped to look around and get my bearings, looking to see if I could find a nice bar to hang out in whilst I waited for the caves to re-open. Just at that point I noticed my dad walking towards me on his own.

He asked me what I was doing and I said that I wasn't going to wait around on my own and that I wanted to have a beer. He said "alright then we can go for a couple of cañas, but no more than two!"

That's the last thing I remember before waking up.

I don't remember many details of this dream, but I dreamt that I had a girlfriend in addition to Yu Lee. I'm pretty sure Yu Lee knew about it but wasn't too happy.

The girl in my dream was a lot younger than me and had short, black hair and was very pretty. The whole thing felt very fun and exciting.

In the first part of this dream, I was with Yu Lee but we weren't a couple yet. We were planning a holiday to Mexico and it was really complicated due to the recent hurricane. I don't remember much about this part of the dream, but do remember feeling that I really liked her and was enjoying spending time with her.

The next scene I remember I was cycling back home from somewhere and it was late at night. I went to put my lights on my bike but I realised I didn't have any.

I was really scared because I was cycling down a windy main road with no pavement, and with tall hedges on either side of the road, so it was very difficult to see or be seen without lights.

At one point I arrived at a bed and breakfast, and there was a woman sitting in the front room. I knocked on the window and she opened it, and I asked her if she had any lights or a torch that I could borrow but she said she couldn't help me.

At some point later a police car stopped me and I thought I was going to be arrested. I was kind of relieved because if they arrested me, then I wouldn't have to cycle back home in the dark.

This is the first dream I ever remember having with my son Link in it.

Link is downstairs crying, and Yu Lee asks me to go downstairs and see what's wrong with him. When I get there, Link's a lot bigger than in real life.

I ask him what's wrong and he says "I hurt my thumb and my leg." I look at his hand and all of the skin appears to have been sliced off the tip of his thumb.

It's weird that he was so much older in my dream.