I am at work (at WorldPay). I am sitting on a row of desks that is much longer than the row that I normally sit on and Jon L is opposite me to my left and Nicholas P is opposite me and two desks along to my right. We are not really doing any work but are sitting around talking.

Jon is talking about last night (it may have been several nights ago). For some reason he was staying in a hotel on a business trip and a woman from another room had asked him to meet with her. Jon went back to her room but says nothing happened. I asked if he told his wife (Jon is not married in real life but lives with his girlfriend) and he says that he did and that's why he spent the night on the couch.

Nicholas and Atta are standing up now opposite me and say they are going for tea, and ask if anyone fancies one. I say that I'll come but I get the feeling they don't want me to.

I walk round to their side of the desk and they are discussing what appears to be a personal project. One of them has their own laptop in from home and they have something up on the screen, which I think is what they are talking about. The screen has a dark background with bright coloured blobs on it.

I only remember the last part of this dream.

I am living in a house share with Yu Lee and some other people. It's 11:00pm and I need to go outside to do something, but for some reason I'm not allowed. I think it's because Yu Lee won't let me.

The previous nights (I think earlier in the dream) Elliot Hill and 2 other people from Jagex had knocked on the door at this time and wanted to go out somewhere which is how I know that Yu Lee won't let me (although I always went anyway!)

I go into the hallway and the font door is ajar. I think to myself that it's lucky I wanted to go out as the door would have been open all night otherwise.

When I open the door Elliot and the same other 2 Jagex people are walking up the path to knock on my door. I explain to them that I am not allowed out but I will come anyway. I say to wait here while I do my task and we will go afterwards.

I'm not sure if I ever did whatever it was that I wanted to do, but I walk off and then come back a few minutes later and Yu Lee is standing outside with 1 other girl (another housemate?) and talking to my friends. She is not angry at all.

As Yu Lee is talking to my friends I look at her. She has her hair cut short, and I think it makes her look really ugly. Looking back on it now I realise this is actually because she has a completely different face, and although this face isn't ugly, I am not even remotely attracted to it.

The other girl that is there is talking to one of the Jagex people. All of a sudden, in front of everyone the Jagex guy starts talking in a sexual way and gropes her breasts and is talking about how sexy she is. They tell us to go on without them and to call them in 15 minutes so that we can meet up. "Actually make that 20!"

It is clear that they are going back in the house to have sex.

This was a long and complicated dream of which I only remember a small section. The theme of the dream was travel.

The events before this are a blur, but I feel like I am completing the last leg of a complicated journey. I am either at the end, or halfway through a holiday.

My plane is coming in to land at Lanzarote (I think, definitely one of the Canary Islands) and we are informed that there is something wrong with the plane. For some reason the plane will be having a bumpy landing, and I think it must be to do with the undercarriage. In order to have a smooth landing we must land on a floating runway, as the water will act as a shock absorber. For this reason we are transferring to ??? airport, which is halfway between Tenerife and some place (which is on the coast of Africa), as there is a ship near to the airport that we can land on.

As we approach the ship we can clearly see what is happening. I can see it directly and don't appear to be looking out of a small aeroplane window. It feels like a cut scene from a video game.

The ship is tall and quite big, and is in a small artificial body of water. It looks like it is in a flooded quarry.

As we get there the weather is awful and very windy, and something strange happens to the ship. It does a half flip and comes back to vertical, then does a loop the loop in the opposite direction and lands on its side: the plane flies over the ship and it has been reduced to rubble.

It's announced that the plane will land at the airport instead due to the problems with the ship. Jon Lister (my manager) says something like

"This is just great. We would have been better off landing at Lanzarote, and we only diverted to land on the ship."

He says this with a big grin, clasping his hands together. He continues

"Don't you thing it's funny how this all happened because of ???" and says that the cause was the first minor that happened. He then continues to summarise the whole dream, but I don't remember what he said.

The next thing I know I am in the cabin. I'm not sure if it is supposed to be in the plane or some kind of ship. The furniture is cheap looking, and there is a sink with a brown plastic mixer tap.

I am thirsty so I grab a glass of water off of a low shelf. My mouth is immediately filled with a strong metallic taste. I suddenly have a flashback to an earlier part of the dream, where I used the glass to catch drips from a leaking soil pipe. I thought at the time "should I label this?" but then I thought "No: nobody would be stupid enough to drink sewage!"

I look at the glass with the water still in my mouth and it is cloudy and brown. I run over to the sink and spit it out and run the tap, filling my mouth with water and spitting into the sink, trying desperately not to swallow anything.

First I turn on the hot tap by mistake and the water tasted almost as bad as the sewage. I turn on the cold tap and continue rinsing out my mouth, and retching and half vomiting the whole time. The dream fades...

At this point I wake up with my head hanging over the side of my bed, gargling my saliva! I had a slight metallic taste in my mouth from sleeping with my mouth open, and felt like I had been asleep for hours even though it was only a 90 minute nap!

I tried to work backwards through the dream but couldn't remember everything, even though the entire dream was summarised by a dream character right near the end! How frustrating!

I only remember one scene from this dream.

I am doing some kind of maths contest. The presenter is eccentric and dressed in a suit and reminds me of Mr. Goodman, my maths teacher from school. We are in the hallway of a house with a staircase in front of us and a white board on the stairs. We are being filmed for TV and I know for some reason that the queen is watching.

The mathematician has drawn 4 numbers on the board in a cross, one up, down, left and right. The numbers each have about 5 digits and we have to do some kind of puzzle with each of them that involves a lot of calculations (similar to countdown).

When the time ran out I hadn't got any of the answers. I complain the it's not fair because he knows the answers, but he says he doesn't, and proceeds to work them out in front of me.

He scribbles away at the board and works them out really quickly and I am very impressed. I ask how he knows there is always a solution and he somehow proves it to me.

I would love to know if the maths he showed me actually made sense but I guess it's unlikely. I was slightly in awe of him!

I have moved house into some kind of shared housing and it is my first day there. I have been given a small room, and everyone else has learning disabilities. They have asked me to be in charge of things, and said I can have a bigger and better room if I do this, and have my own supply of food.

We all ate dinner together on the first night, and the next morning I decided to accept and be in charge.

It's morning now and we are having a cooked breakfast. I am looking for something to drink when I find a bottle of beer on the side. I open it and drink some, and it tastes like a cold can of Newcastle Brown Ale. It was fridge cold, even though it was not in the fridge.

Later we are having a group sex education lesson, which seems to have a drama element to it. We are all in a large common room with a small kitchen area, and game machines such as arcade games and table football all around the edges.

We are asked to do a series of exercises, and after each one the instructor asks some of us some questions. The first exercise was something simple, and the instructor asked one of the other house mates some questions but I wasn't really paying attention.

I remember seeing the Bolivian girl from my work (WorldPay) there, and thinking she is too normal to be there, and that she looked really pretty.

The next task is to act out a sexual fantasy that is on our mind. People are doing all sorts of crazy shit, and one guy has his erect penis poking out through his flies.

I think "this is really stupid" but I decide to play along and grab a Dyson vacuum cleaner and put it on my crotch.

After the exercise, the instructor is talking again and says that it is interesting to note that "every piece of equipment was used during the exercise." She says that 2 of us were actually sexual, and implies that I was one of them, which I think is stupid as I was just playing along. I now notice that I have an erection.

At some point during the exercise, one of the guys was just standing by the table football doing nothing, and asked me if he should get Windows Vista black edition of blue edition. I told him that I didn't care.

The dream had a strange emotion of being in a new, unfamiliar place, and reminded me of the start of university or a new job.

I dreamt that for some reason I was trying on one of Yu Lee's dresses, and at that moment one of her old school friends came round so Yu Lee made me hide in her bed. After her friend left Yu Lee made me take my nap on the floor for some reason.

I had a vivid dream about having an alternate reality that I could get to through a wardrobe in my house, and woke up naturally after the dream.

I dreamt that I was in the back of a car with my brother and one of my work mates (someone else was driving). My brother was sleeping and talking in his sleep, when all of a sudden he climbed into the back and straddled my friend. It was clear from what he was saying that he was dreaming about going to the toilet and he unzipped his trousers pointing in the direction of my friends face.

By this time we were all shouting for him to stop and my friend was pushing him off, and eventually he woke up. I said something like "That was close" and my friend said "Close? My face is wet that was more than close". My brother was apologising.

I was having a long and vivid dream about being at work and making a major change that affected everything. The weird thing was that instead of programming to make the change, the whole office was a massive machine with huge pipes and I had to divert the flow of water.

This dream had our systems implemented as something half way between programming and plumbing and it was weird! It's tiring having to fix bugs when it involves running around an enormous complex fixing leaks!