When my alarm went off I was dreaming that a competitor to one of my freelance clients had just been floated on the stock exchange!

This was the first of two dreams that I remember last night.

Me and Yu Lee were living in some kind of housing complex. The toilets had stopped working and everyone was throwing their waste out into a shared garden area.

I was running really late for work and I went outside to get my bicycle (I haven't cycled for years). There was a nasty smell so Yu Lee opened the gate to let the air circulate and then realised it was other people's toilet waste that they'd been chucking outside and the smell was on the other side of the gate.

Then when we were cycling I realised I'd forgotten my laptop, and Yu Lee said "don't worry about it", but I thought "How can I work without my computer?"

I dreamt that I was at a work party, and everyone was drinking a few beers. I went to the toilets (why do I always dream about toilets?) and someone else was there. I asked if they were ok and they said they were going to be sick, but the way they said it sounded like a joke.

They walked away from the toilets and I went inside and started to use a urinal. A little while later they came back in and started throwing up in one of the urinals. I was trying to ignore the noise because it was disgusting.

I dreamt that me and Yu Lee were at university (or some similar place) and we were living together in a tiny rented house. We were talking about accommodation for next term, and for some reason Yu Lee wanted us to both rent separate houses. She asked what I thought I and I told her it was a waste of money, and that after a couple of weeks I thought she would end up just staying with me all of the time anyway.

While we were having this discussion we were in some kind of arcade, eating breakfast sat on 2 bar stools next to an arcade machine.

I dreamt that I was in a public toilet, and an old guy was just standing in front of a urinal, and all of the other ones were taken. He walked off and I took his place and was just about to go when he budged me out of the way and emptied a kettle of water into the urinal. He walked off and I started to go, and then I noticed there was vomit on the urinal, and he had been flushing it with the kettle. I remember thinking that it was nice of him to clean up after himself, but where did he get the kettle from?

At about 1:30pm I woke up from a dream about a cocoon of some kind of insect being in my kitchen cupboard. I asked Yu Lee to get some tweezers to pick it up, and she said to stop fussing and use your hand. Then she picked it up with her fingers and it started wriggling, and she screamed and dropped it.

I had a very strange dream about visiting the Google offices. We parked up in an underground car park, and Yu Lee went off to do some shopping while I looked for a way into the offices.

There were no normal exits, but there were some big, thick, heavy metal hatches in the floor that said 'exit' on them, and I saw some other people open one of them up. Inside was a strange machine with some handles on it.

I followed their lead and held onto one of handles. They told me to make sure I was holding on and then pressed a button on the top of the machine. It shot upwards at alarming speed and we were all hanging off from the handles.

The ride up seemed to take a long time, especially considering the speed of the elevator and the fact that we were hanging off, but my arms didn't feel tired. I was very scared though because we were getting quite high.

When we reached the top, a metal arm extended towards us and we had to shimmy across onto it. The whole thing was bizarre!

When my alarm went off I was dreaming, and it was a weird dream!

I was out with my brother and one of my school friends, and they wanted to go and steal something but I wasn't keen. We went to a random house and knocked on the door, and before the girl who answered could say anything we ran up her stairs and sat on her bed. The others talked to her and I went into another room and stole a Frisbee and left on my own.

I played with my Frisbee for a while in a place that looked like Cambridge Science Park, then returned to my Mum's house. It was dark, and there was news that someone had been burgled and they knew who'd done it, and the council were sending a giant monster statute to stand outside the thief's house.

The statue walked straight past the house and I went up stairs to find a new memory card for my phone. I emptied my pockets and changed my shoes as I thought the girl would think that I was someone else because of the shoes I was wearing.

I went outside in the dark and then I realised I had nothing on me apart from the front door key to my house. I got lost and couldn't remember my way back.

I walked past some garages and someone was shouting for help but I was scared so I walked past. The next person walking past went to help them, but it was a trap and the person calling help beat him up and filmed it for his website.

I was self concious that the girl who I stole the Frisbee from would be looking for me and would recognise me because of my trousers. I found the way to my house and went inside.

Weird!

This morning I was dreaming about loads of people being in my house and trying to get me to play tennis with them. There was a fat girl, and just as I was about to wake up she asked me if I had any snacks or sweets she could open. I opened some jelly beans and she immediately started eating them.

I asked if she was hungry and she told me she wasn't, and that she'd eaten so much already that she felt sick but she "just couldn't help herself".

I put my laptop in a bag and left the house.

I dreamt about cutting up cooked sausages.