I only remember one scene from this dream.

I am doing some kind of maths contest. The presenter is eccentric and dressed in a suit and reminds me of Mr. Goodman, my maths teacher from school. We are in the hallway of a house with a staircase in front of us and a white board on the stairs. We are being filmed for TV and I know for some reason that the queen is watching.

The mathematician has drawn 4 numbers on the board in a cross, one up, down, left and right. The numbers each have about 5 digits and we have to do some kind of puzzle with each of them that involves a lot of calculations (similar to countdown).

When the time ran out I hadn't got any of the answers. I complain the it's not fair because he knows the answers, but he says he doesn't, and proceeds to work them out in front of me.

He scribbles away at the board and works them out really quickly and I am very impressed. I ask how he knows there is always a solution and he somehow proves it to me.

I would love to know if the maths he showed me actually made sense but I guess it's unlikely. I was slightly in awe of him!

This was a long and complicated dream of which I only remember a small section. The theme of the dream was travel.

The events before this are a blur, but I feel like I am completing the last leg of a complicated journey. I am either at the end, or halfway through a holiday.

My plane is coming in to land at Lanzarote (I think, definitely one of the Canary Islands) and we are informed that there is something wrong with the plane. For some reason the plane will be having a bumpy landing, and I think it must be to do with the undercarriage. In order to have a smooth landing we must land on a floating runway, as the water will act as a shock absorber. For this reason we are transferring to ??? airport, which is halfway between Tenerife and some place (which is on the coast of Africa), as there is a ship near to the airport that we can land on.

As we approach the ship we can clearly see what is happening. I can see it directly and don't appear to be looking out of a small aeroplane window. It feels like a cut scene from a video game.

The ship is tall and quite big, and is in a small artificial body of water. It looks like it is in a flooded quarry.

As we get there the weather is awful and very windy, and something strange happens to the ship. It does a half flip and comes back to vertical, then does a loop the loop in the opposite direction and lands on its side: the plane flies over the ship and it has been reduced to rubble.

It's announced that the plane will land at the airport instead due to the problems with the ship. Jon Lister (my manager) says something like

"This is just great. We would have been better off landing at Lanzarote, and we only diverted to land on the ship."

He says this with a big grin, clasping his hands together. He continues

"Don't you thing it's funny how this all happened because of ???" and says that the cause was the first minor that happened. He then continues to summarise the whole dream, but I don't remember what he said.

The next thing I know I am in the cabin. I'm not sure if it is supposed to be in the plane or some kind of ship. The furniture is cheap looking, and there is a sink with a brown plastic mixer tap.

I am thirsty so I grab a glass of water off of a low shelf. My mouth is immediately filled with a strong metallic taste. I suddenly have a flashback to an earlier part of the dream, where I used the glass to catch drips from a leaking soil pipe. I thought at the time "should I label this?" but then I thought "No: nobody would be stupid enough to drink sewage!"

I look at the glass with the water still in my mouth and it is cloudy and brown. I run over to the sink and spit it out and run the tap, filling my mouth with water and spitting into the sink, trying desperately not to swallow anything.

First I turn on the hot tap by mistake and the water tasted almost as bad as the sewage. I turn on the cold tap and continue rinsing out my mouth, and retching and half vomiting the whole time. The dream fades...

At this point I wake up with my head hanging over the side of my bed, gargling my saliva! I had a slight metallic taste in my mouth from sleeping with my mouth open, and felt like I had been asleep for hours even though it was only a 90 minute nap!

I tried to work backwards through the dream but couldn't remember everything, even though the entire dream was summarised by a dream character right near the end! How frustrating!

I only remember the last part of this dream.

I am living in a house share with Yu Lee and some other people. It's 11:00pm and I need to go outside to do something, but for some reason I'm not allowed. I think it's because Yu Lee won't let me.

The previous nights (I think earlier in the dream) Elliot Hill and 2 other people from Jagex had knocked on the door at this time and wanted to go out somewhere which is how I know that Yu Lee won't let me (although I always went anyway!)

I go into the hallway and the font door is ajar. I think to myself that it's lucky I wanted to go out as the door would have been open all night otherwise.

When I open the door Elliot and the same other 2 Jagex people are walking up the path to knock on my door. I explain to them that I am not allowed out but I will come anyway. I say to wait here while I do my task and we will go afterwards.

I'm not sure if I ever did whatever it was that I wanted to do, but I walk off and then come back a few minutes later and Yu Lee is standing outside with 1 other girl (another housemate?) and talking to my friends. She is not angry at all.

As Yu Lee is talking to my friends I look at her. She has her hair cut short, and I think it makes her look really ugly. Looking back on it now I realise this is actually because she has a completely different face, and although this face isn't ugly, I am not even remotely attracted to it.

The other girl that is there is talking to one of the Jagex people. All of a sudden, in front of everyone the Jagex guy starts talking in a sexual way and gropes her breasts and is talking about how sexy she is. They tell us to go on without them and to call them in 15 minutes so that we can meet up. "Actually make that 20!"

It is clear that they are going back in the house to have sex.

I am at work (at WorldPay). I am sitting on a row of desks that is much longer than the row that I normally sit on and Jon L is opposite me to my left and Nicholas P is opposite me and two desks along to my right. We are not really doing any work but are sitting around talking.

Jon is talking about last night (it may have been several nights ago). For some reason he was staying in a hotel on a business trip and a woman from another room had asked him to meet with her. Jon went back to her room but says nothing happened. I asked if he told his wife (Jon is not married in real life but lives with his girlfriend) and he says that he did and that's why he spent the night on the couch.

Nicholas and Atta are standing up now opposite me and say they are going for tea, and ask if anyone fancies one. I say that I'll come but I get the feeling they don't want me to.

I walk round to their side of the desk and they are discussing what appears to be a personal project. One of them has their own laptop in from home and they have something up on the screen, which I think is what they are talking about. The screen has a dark background with bright coloured blobs on it.

I am at work, but there are a lot of elements from school here. In my dream I know that I am going out with Yu Lee, but for some reason I am searching for more female friends. I have decided that I want to go to the cinema with a girl but I am finding it difficult to ask them because I don't have the confidence to ask a random girl to the cinema.

Somehow I arrange to go to a film with a girl, and before the film starts I want to get a beer and a burger. I got into a fast food shop and ask how much it is for a beer and a burger, and they tell me that it is £7.49. I order one and they start to make the burger, but then I change my mind and say that it is too expensive and ask how much it is for just the burger. They say it would be £55 and that they had to put the prices up for burgers without beer. I say that there is no way I'm paying £55 for a burger and the guy is clearly annoyed as has already made it, but I stand my ground and complain about how they can't force people to buy a beer with their burger if they don't want to.

When I come back outside, the girl is gone already so I start to look around for her. At this point Jon (my manager) arrives even though he is supposed to be having the day off. I tell him that I am on my lunch break as I want to go to the cinema and he can't believe that I'm taking my lunch break at 9:00am to see a movie.

At this point several things are going through my head. I am worried that Jon might think that I told him I was taking an early lunch just because he came in, and that I was just going to try to get away with spending the whole day at the cinema instead of working. I also think about how my lunch break will be over by 10:00am and then the afternoon will be 6 hours long with no break, and that time will drag on for ages. In the end I give in and decide to take a normal lunch break and not see the film.

In the last part of the dream I am walking through a corridor when a group of people walk in from outside. There are some security guards, Jeremy H (from Jagex) and Humza Quereshi (my real life arch nemesis from when I was at school!). For some reason security are taking Humza into a cubicle / office.

Jeremy turns to me and says something like "Go easy on him, he's your friend" and Humza is asking me for help. I say "He's not my friend, he's a prick" and he objects.

The security guards start to interview Humza: "What is the impediment?" I feel that he has done something serious.

Humza starts to ramble on, saying confusing things that don't directly answer their questions. He is being filmed and his face is on a monitor, and as he speaks, after a second or so a transcript of what he's saying appears on the screen as subtitles.

I didn't remember this dream upon waking, but a fragment of it came back to me shortly after getting up.

I dreamt that we saw Zen and he said he had a job cleaning up vomit from norovirus sufferers. It sounded like he worked in a large building, possibly the university and would get called out whenever someone vomited to clean it up and limit the spread of the infection. He told me that some people were "sick" as in "sick in the head" and would purposefully go to place to vomit where lots of people were likely to come into contact with it. He said a very common place for them to be sick was in doorways inside the building so that people would have to walk through it and possible become infected.

I am at the airport. I have already been through security and have had my rucksack x-rayed, and now I am in a queue to board the plane.

Eventually I get to the front of the queue and the security guard asks me to stand with my legs open and my arms out. He frisks me down and when he gets to my pockets he finds something and stops.

"Can you empty your pockets please sir?" he asks me.

I put my hand in my left pocket and to my surprise I find a pocket knife. I pull it out and hand it to him.

"What's this?" he asks.

"A knife!" I reply.

"Why do you have this? What's it for?"

"It's just a general knife."

"You know I can't just let you carry a knife onto the plane don't you?"

"I've taken it on the plane before and it's never been a problem."

The knife is stainless steel, with a textured handle and about a 3 inch blade. In the dream I am sure that I have taken it on a plane before.

"What happens now?" I ask him.

"You'll have to put it in your hand luggage. If you'd just like to step out of the queue then we can deal with this."

I step out of the queue and feel annoyed as all of the other passengers move past me. I start to argue with the security guard.

"But surely I could just take it out of my hand luggage anyway!"

"I'm sorry sir, but that's the rules. Please put the knife in your hand luggage..."