I was at Wilkinsons with a mixture of uni people and home people. Yu Lee and Jack were definitely there and Nick called to say that he couldn't make it.

All of the boys had picked up big cuddly whales for their girlfriends, so I asked Yu Lee if she wanted one and she said "yes". I told her I knew where there was a bigger selection and we went to a bin filled with lots of different whales.

Suddenly an alarm goes off, and I realise that we are out the back in the store room. I panic and wake up.

I remember at one point I found cuddly foetuses too!

1. Christmas time: Jack and Brad are spending Christmas together. Jack and Jack's dad aren't drinking so that Jack's dad can drop him home at midnight.

2. Something about spaceships and time travel which went into a false awakening where I wrote the dream down.

An unusual dream tonight. Jack was round my house, when his mum turned up to pick him up. Jack went up stairs to get his shoes and Jack’s mum talked to me. She asked me how I was doing so I said “Fine thanks. How are you?” The answer I got was quite alarming. She said “I’ve been much better recently, since I’ve been using my dildo.” Strange isn’t it?

Before I start, I’ll talk about something which has appeared in a lot of my dreams in the past. For some reason I’ve been riding my bike in the trading estate, and rode into an (imaginary) area of brown mud round the back of one of the buildings. When I’m riding over the mud, my bike gets sucked into the ground. I’ve had this in my dreams for a very long time, and I don’t know why. Anyway, now I’ll tell you about the dream I had last night.

It started in school. It was time for PE and I’d lost my kit, and didn’t fancy having to use the spare kit. What I did was look around the bottom of the green staircase for someone else’s kit to take. I found one that fitted, in a carrier bag and took it to the gym. After PE it was home time. Jack and Peter asked me if I wanted a bike race through the trading estate and I agreed. I went home and got my bike, and the race started. We were going through the trading estate at full pelt when a car pulled out in front of me. Because of this I was miles behind everyone else. In an attempt to catch up, I looked for a shortcut, and eventually I found one. It meant cutting through a muddy peace of land outside one of the buildings, (the muddy place that I’ve often visited in my dreams). As I rode across the mud, my bike suddenly got sucked in, so I jumped off. My bike was completely submerged under the surface of the mud. I pulled out a knife, and cut a slit in the mud, but it closed again, sort of like a huge mouth. I cut it again, and shoved a bottle in to hold it open. It was open for a few seconds, when suddenly the bottle flew up in the air. The reason it flew up was a huge eye was in the ground, pushing against it. I look at the eye. It was orange-brown and covered in brown veins. I thought that the eye had eaten my bike so I tried to kill it. At first I cut it gently, but it healed itself, so I lifted my knife above my head and started stabbing down at it. Yellow chunks of gore flew out of the eye. Then I woke up. I never did find my bike…

(note : not the first time I’ve ever dreamt about eyes. Could it mean something?)

Me, Jack, Bradley, Michael and Humza are together in the class room, picking on Amardeep, saying that she’s got hairy breasts. She gets very upset and eventually shows us her chest and it’s very hairy!

(note : this is quite realistic isn’t it?)